Name: Lana Tourniquet
Location: Hell City (Phoenix), Arizona
Height: 5′ 7″
Piercings/Tattoos (How many? Where?): I took out all of my body piercings several years ago. I have enough tattooing that counting them isn’t really practical; at least 110 hours’ worth. My back and chest are covered; both of my upper arms are done as is my left leg except for the knee and inner thigh. Both feet are tattooed and I have really old, tiny pieces on my left wrist and left ear.
Relationship Status: In a committed relationship with my fella.
Facebook URL: http://www.facebook.com/MsLanaTourniquet
Twitter URL: http://twitter.com/#!/LanaTourniquet
COMING SOON: http://www.LanaTourniquet.com
How do you like to say “hello”?
Hi. (Unless I know you…then the answer may be different.)
What were you doing five minutes before this interview?
Answering fan mail and responding to booking questions.
What are some things you never leave home without?
Lip gloss. Money. Cell phone.
What kind of underwear are you wearing?
At the moment, none. Generally speaking, boy shorts.
What does your last outgoing text message say?
I love you.
If you could be on any reality show, what would it be?
I haven’t ever owned my own TV and so I haven’t watched television really in years…I have no idea what reality shows even exist! However, more than one person has suggested that I go on Fear Factor. I am not entirely sure why as I’ve never seen it.
What part of your personality gets you into trouble the most? Why?
Probably the fact that I have no filter in terms of what I say. I’ll just tell you–no matter who you are or what the context is–what I’m honestly thinking and how I feel about what you have said or done. This is not a popular approach.
Are you ticklish? Where?
Let’s say I’m gonna give you $1,000 dollars. Where do you go to spend it? What would you buy?
Today as I write this I’d order a giant bucket of latex polish, new business cards, some makeup, and if anything was left, new latex. Latex couture is like Lana Tourniquet crack. (That’s crack cocaine, not the other crack, you pervert!)
What are some things guys do that get on your nerves?
All people potentially get on my nerves, not just guys! BUT…in no particular order:
1. Drive slowly in the fast lane and I will give you a Jeep enema;
2. Walk up to me as a stranger and touch me, especially tattoos or hair, without even speaking to me first and I promise you’ll be sorry;
3. Talk smack about me as a fighter because I’m a girl, you think I’m too small, or any other stupid reason and I’ll show you how easy it is to collapse someone’s trachea (sadly, it’ll be yours).
What’s the first thing you look at when you meet a guy?
Depends on the guy. If you have gorgeous eyes, that’s probably what I’m looking at. But if you have bitchin’ tattoos or some really fine body feature and your face is only so-so, why would I stare at your face? Makes no sense. Sorry, but that’s the truth…and anyway, you know you do it too!
Describe your worst date ever.
I was married for a very short time. Consider the whole thing my worst everything.
The musician you would most like to meet is…
What was your first concert?
The Power Station.
What was the last concert you attended?
Name three of your favorite bands or artists.
I love music too much to have a top three. I’m most likely to listen to hip hop on any given day. Lately I’ve had Hopsin, The Knux, Dub Mafia and CSS on heavy rotation.
What is your favorite line from a song?
Again, too many to say, but here’s a good one:
Cement shoes, now I’m on the move
Your family’s crying, now you on the news
They can’t find you, and now they miss you
Must I remind you I’m only here to twist you
What do you do to relax?
Martial arts, play with my daughter, hot baths, time with my Man.
Name some things in your life you’re most proud of.
My daughter; my writing, including my co-authorship of the a cappella musical In Transit; my burlesque performances, much of my modeling work; my MMA fights.
How do you like to say “goodbye”?
See you soon.