Hey Mary! I’m glad we finally get a chance to talk! You’ve been all over the place lately and you just finished up a new movie, right?
Yeah, it’s my first SAG movie. It’s a good thing, it’s mainstream. It’s a tribute to Russ Meyer, you know, we did it in his style. It’s called Pervert. I actually get killed in it. They don’t actually show me getting killed but you get to see me after I’m dead. I had all this makeup on. It took a couple of hours and I looked really horrible! I looked like I was in a car accident. It was really fun.
I’ve gotta know about the girl that played Alisha. Did you all not get along?
I hate that girl. I won’t even say her name because I don’t want to give her any publicity. The first night we were there hanging out having drinks. I had a Marilyn Monroe shirt on and she asked if I liked Marilyn Monroe. I said yeah and she asked how much I like Marilyn. I told her I’d read a few books about her. She said, “I didn’t have to read the books.” I asked her what she meant and she goes, “I am her.” I’m like, “What do you mean?” She said she was Marilyn Monroe reincarnated. She said, “See this mole under my eye? When I came back as Marilyn my mole moved to my eye from my mouth.” The funny thing is, she has dark black hair. She don’t even look like Marilyn. She said the reason she doesn’t look like Marilyn is because they change the way you look in the afterlife. “The world wouldn’t allow it.” That’s why I hate her. She spazzed on me last night because she thought I was talking behind her back. I was standing outside waiting to do my shoot and this guy runs out of the room where she was shooting. He said, “Can somebody punch this girl? I can’t stand her!” I ran over to the actor who was working with her and asked what was wrong. She heard me and said, “What do you mean what’s wrong?! You’re not a true friend!” Later on she said, “You’re just using me to get to Marilyn.”
Somebody needs to give that girl a dose of reality!
After she was yelling at me for talking about her I was thinking. She’s nobody in the movie, she’s never done anything before. She’s not that pretty and I felt like screaming at her – “You idiot! You are NOT Marilyn Monroe!” I think it’s funny letting the crew and everybody else experience her thinking she’s Marilyn.
So what else is going on?
I’m doing Playboy radio later today. Tomorrow I leave for Missouri but my appearance is at the Hustler Club in Illinois. I get back and am doing some stuff for Dani’s Hard Drive. Then I’ll do a couple episodes of a spanish TV show called Jose Luis. It’s really funny, like Jerry Springer. I like to be busy.
Somebody told me to ask you about Gumbi Girl.
I must’ve said that somewhere along the way. Growing up in my high school they used to call me that because I was really flexible. I could do the splits, well I still can do all that stuff. I used to do a human pretzel in Spanish class. Crazy stuff!
Here’s something you’ve never heard before: You’ve got really nice boobies! I think it’s cool that you play that up in your films and you’ve got a really good sense of humor about it all.
Good! I’m a silly girl. A lot of girls take themselves way to seriously. Not me! I’m just silly all the time! I’m as silly as they come!
Another thing that makes you stand out from a lot of porn girls is you’re not afraid to say that you’re not necessarily a big fan of those huge monster dicks!
No, I’m not! They hurt me. Big penises are not fun because they hurt. If I’m with a medium or small penis it doesn’t hurt. I prefer medium to small because big ones hurt. I don’t really think a lot of porn girls really like big dicks. The reason a lot of guys in porn have big dicks is because they’re more confident and not afraid to show it. They’re able to get hard in front of people. Guys with small dicks are afraid to show it and can’t get hard or they think they can’t be porn stars because their dicks aren’t big enough. I don’t know if that’s true, but psychologically it makes sense.
How are things goin’ with your contract for Kick Ass Pictures?
Pretty good! Mary Carey Rules #4 came out last month and Mary Carey Rules #5 was out August 31.
Are you still working on a virtual sex DVD?
You know, we were working on it and there were a whole bunch of problems with it. The camera guy did not shoot it properly so it’s kinda on the back burner for a while. We’ll go back to it later.
You mentioned the Mary Carey Rules DVD series…Tell us all about those.
It’s kinda like Saturday Night Live. I do little skits. On one I play Skittles, the white rapper. It’s playing off of Eminem’s name. There are different comedy skits. You get to laugh. It’s kinda like five movies instead of one long one. You could watch one part and then come back later to watch the rest. They’re all different. Some movies have a really long plot and the acting is really bad. For mine you only have to pay attention for about 10 minutes and you get a good sex scene afterwards!
Those are like your real-life personality, right?
Pretty much. I tell the girls to say this or do this but I pretty much let ‘em do their own thing and say whatever they feel like saying. For me I’m good at improv and just being funny. I think I should be on Saturday Night Live!
One of the major things that put your name in America’s homes was your decision to run for Governor of California. What’s the biggest thing you learned from that experience?
It taught me…I learned a lot about politics. I really didn’t know much about it before. I didn’t even know how many years a governor was in office. I never really wanted to know about politics and now I do. I realized how important a vote was. I never really voted before because I didn’t think it mattered. Doing this made me realize that every vote counts. I got to show people my personality.
Is that something you’d do again?
Oh definitely. I think I’m gonna run again. It’s only two years from now. I’ll run again. I think I’ll do better next time.
Was it easy to be a good girl with the other candidates or did you wanna jump any of their bones?
The only one I thought was really good looking was Arnold. It was easy to be a good girl! I didn’t really get to know a lot of the candidates because I was so busy campaigning myself.
You wanna have sex with Maria Shriver, don’t you?
I think so. She’s pretty. She’s a little older. I like younger girls because I’m only 24. I think I’d have to do her. If I had a chance I would. It’d be a great story to tell!
How do you think Arnold is handling things in California right now?
Arnold’s doing a great job. He’s on top of things. I think he was – other than myself – the best candidate for the job.
Is there anything that you would’ve done differently had you won?
I’d have webcams installed so people could see their government at work!
The government is afraid of something like that! Could you imagine…
They’re so sneaky! I’m not sneaky! I would legalize gay marriage. I think Arnold’s doing a good job and I would’ve done the same thing.
You got to be on the O’Reilly Factor, which is one of my favorite shows. What was it like working with Bill O’Reilly?
He’s great! I love Bill. I thought he was gonna be mean to me but he was really nice. I got to do a lot of other shows because I was on his show. During the HIV outbreak all the news people called me, I was quoted in Newsweek, I’m the political pornstar!
So you’re not far away from getting it on with O’Reilly?
Unfortunately I did his show via satellite so I didn’t get a chance! I think he’s down with the freakyness, though!
What’s your feature dancing schedule look like?
I’m really busy, especially in October and November. My appearance schedule is on my website so everybody can come out and see me!
Is dancing something you like to do or is it just part of the job?
Oh, I love to dance. It’s definitely fun!
What’s your favorite kind of music – on stage or off!
I play all kinds of music. I really like hip-hop. I go through phases. I used to not like hip-hop. I like Eminem a lot. After the AVN show he talked to me on the phone. He saw me on Celebrity’s Uncensored and wanted to meet me. I ended up hanging out with him two months later and it just didn’t work out. I still like his music, though. Now I really like 50 Cent, Young Buck and Lloyd Banks. I always get embarassed when I say it, but I like Nickelback a lot. I dance to AC/DC so I like that kinda stuff, too. I also listen to Britney Spears and Mariah Carey!
You had a brief relationship with Tom Green. Was that a serious relationship or was it just messing around?
It was just a few flings. He got mad when it created publicity right away. That’s OK. He’s nice.
Did you get to see the world famous “uni-sack”?
You know he kept it covered with his boxers? It was kinda weird. You know how you pull your penis out through the hole in the front of your boxers? He did that every time.
It would be hard for me to even get wood if I was that self-conscious about my nutsack!
Yeah! It was weird. I was surprised he kept it covered because everybody knows. He did it on TV! Oh well…Whatever!